My boyfriend told me to start this blog. Usually when he suggests something I let the idea mature for at least a year, like a good cheese. During this time the problem that he was hoping to solve for me festers until it reaches the point that something has to be done, thereby saving me the mental energy of having to decide to act on a non-urgent issue. So I hope it’s a pleasant surprise to him that this time I took action with a delay of barely six months.

He really means the world to me, and I think this can be measured by the quality of our arguments. Not for us the heated flinging of accusations about the washing up or the laundry. Not for us the cold bringing up of past transgressions such as leaving the toilet seat up repeatedly. He simply goes into the bathroom, shaves his stubble into some ridiculous shape, and comes out wearing a smile. I rise, like a trout to a fly (or so the trout thinks…), and we’re off. He is the Swelter to my Flay.

So just to let you know, my darling: I will have my revenge for being forced into action. In my waking moments, whenever I have some spare time, when I used to idly make up stories in my head, now I will have a purpose. I will use this blog – a powerful platform, as I think we can all agree – to mock moustaches, belittle beards, scorn sideburns. My facetious comments on facial hair will turn the tide, and by the time we reach November, there will not be a beard left in Shoreditch.

I hope your follicles are quaking.

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Partners

  1. bello man says:



    • sjrosenstein says:

      It may have caused UCL to go into meltdown, but I’m immune. Completely immune. I would definitely never be tempted into replying to such a pointless OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE WE’RE ALL DOOMED.


  2. bello man says:

    i liek you’re reply


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s